miserable, you can tell.

Never ever read one of those chick-flick-type novels where the heroine walks out of her job and into a better life if you’re going through a pseudo-quarter life crisis. Or whatever crisis you call it when you’ve past more than just a quarter in your life. At 28, I seem to be exactly where I was when I was 24. Lost, unhappy and still searching for what life has in store for me. I’ve read all the books. Traveled to find myself. I’ve reached out for the corporate dream. Won some battles, lost most, but here I am--still where I was a couple of years ago. Perhaps a few pounds lighter, a couple notches higher in the ladder but still horribly exploited by the conspiracies of corporate suits and much still within the chubby category. No bonus points on the love life too if you don’t count a very racy imagination. I wonder if getting married solves any of these anxieties or only makes it worse? Will you feel less alienated from the world if you have someone who loves you by your side? How the hell does one get someone to love her for everything she is? Someone who doesn’t make one physically sick? I read my horoscope today and it said something like I should work on my soul and not my intellect. I wish I knew how to work on my soul. I feel incredibly shallow and almost ashamed to admit that although I love and believe in God, I am almost always at a loss for words when I pray. I don’t know how to find the right words. I’m so wrapped up in myself and my unhappiness that I don’t know anyone who would put up with me. I am at the worst point of my life right now and I need to find the right words and a major attitude adjustment fast, in order to change my lot.